Review of Syfy's 'Robocroc'

Robocroc, the TV movie that aired on Syfy, stars Corin Nemec (Stargate) and Dee Wallace (ET, Halloween), and boy have they fallen far.  They've fallen so far that they're in a movie that isn't even in IMDb.  Now that's bad, when the movie distributor hasn't even put the movie on that website.

At least, that should be a good warning at least.


Robocroc movie review of Syfy's telecast

The Syfy movie starts with us watching a rocket launch that goes wrong.  An emergency capsule lands in a swamp (in a city?).  What I presume are nanobots swarm out of the crashed capsule and infect a crocodile! 

We switch to a zookeeper looking to feed the crocodile, Stella.  (Ah, it's a zoo the capsule lands in.  The editing is so horrid that this is how the viewer experiences the story.)  He looks up at an airline contrail (presumably the contrail of the crashed capsule), says, What's that?  Then continues on his duties as if nothing else is wrong.

Except the croc he tries to feed rages out of control and chases the zookeeper around the zoo.  In the process, we are introduced to Robocroc (Terminator?) vision, as the animal is already showing off it's internal programming.

Later, the head zookeeper (Nemec) gets involved in the story and he runs into a woman in charge of a mysterious government agency (Wallace).

In case you were getting bored out of your skull watching the movie, we segue to a water park that's connected to the zoo, via water channels.  A water park with lots of young booty call in bathing suits and bikinis to gawk at.

Yes, a water park connected to the zoo via water ducts.  You do the math.

Teeny booppers in bikinis, a croc slowly turning or evolving into a machine... what could go wrong!?

Besides the directing, the script and the dead flat delivery of all the lines?


I have to say that sometimes when a movie is bad, at least sometimes the talent makes it worthwhile, to some degree, to watch.  But in this case, the movie was done so poorly that it even makes Nemec and Wallace look pretty bad.

In fact, at first, Nemec looked so...  gaunt?, that I wasn't sure it was him at first.  Dee Williams on the other hand, instantly recognizable, regardless.

The movie was pretty flat.  What energy there could have been, wasn't there.  And even when they attempt some funny lines to lighten the mood, well, the delivery and timing was much like the rest of the movie.  Dreadful and ill-conceived.

How ill-conceived?  When you have characters so stupid as to jump on the back of an all-metal, nano-bot driven robot super croc and try to kill it in the classic fashion, with a big knife to the heart, well, there you go.

Heck the best parts of this movie were the stock footage scenes of a rocket launch and a lion pacing around in its zoo compound and some shots around the water park.  If you know what I mean.

Robocroc is produced by UFO International Productions and the quality continues on the teaser for the film, considering they misspell their own movie's name on their video preview page.

I give Robocroc a 5-10 score.  As in 5 to 10 beers to get through.  Fewer if you watch this with friends.  More if you need to escape and pass out on your own.
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