Trashing on THE BACHELOR Wedding of Sean and Catherine

(UPDATED with info from an EW article.)

So tonight I was extremely bored.  I didn't want to watch the Grammy's.  The list of winners was already online before the telecast started.  I didn't want to sit around and watch 99% of the crowd clapping for other people winning their awards.

I wasn't in the mood to pull up anything on my Comcast VoD.  The ads on that platform from the networks can be more trying than what's on live broadcast.

So I decided to watch ABC's The Bachelor Wedding of Sean and Catherine.  Hey, remember, ABC was teasing us for the last few weeks with ads saying with contestants from previous seasons in the audience, you never know what could go wrong.

What cheap, low level crap advertising.  Seriously?

So I decided to watch this two-hour travesty and came away with discovering that I started hating something even more than cheap laugh tracks.

Below, are some of my confusing observations from the live wedding...


"I haven't taken too many road trips."  "I'm a traveler."  (Wait.  What?  Yes, in the same sentence, Catherine made those two statements.)
Then Catherine starting pitching her new theme for the night.  What TF is "grown sexy?"  To me, that would imply that there are other sexy modes, other than grown or adult?  Just wondering. And that term is thrown at us again and again.  And again...  and...  well...

The show has a "honeymoon suite cam!"  Sooo will that be on when the new wedded couple arrives?  I'm wondering if ABC is thinking of the donero that can be made from there, after the fact, in the ...  grown sexy movie market!

We watch them tell the parents about the wedding date.

She's getting married to him because "she has no more room in her heart."  I know she meant that to mean something wonderful, and I get it.  But this piece is about trashing on the reality TV wedding.

And yes, they are "saving themselves for marriage."

Again and again we see camera shots of the guests for the wedding, most of them, losers, I mean contestants from past seasons of the game show called The Bachelor.

We watch Catherine pick a wedding dress.

We watch Sean show up to buy lingerie for Catherine, and then we get the inset frame of the empty honeymoon suite.  This may very well be the best creepy reality shopping segment ever.

Did we just send a virgin to shop for sexy wear.  Too funny.  (See later on about that.)

We keep getting pounded with this "grown sexy" term.  Over and over, it's almost as frequent as a laugh track!  Ug.

Then we watch Catherine practicing wedding night sexy poses.  Eek. 

So just to be clear...  Sean is a born again virgin, and Catherine was not celibate until she got on The Bachelor.

So there's no real virgin activities going on here.  It's just a cute thing they're putting off until... "the night."  { .hollywoodlife. }

How weird, to have your wedding surrounded by camera crews.  And to have the secondary director in the background telling the bride and her mom to move closer together for the shot... ah, how romantic!

During or just before the ceremony, we had an inset "live" shot of the honeymoon suite.  Seriously!  It's empty folks.  There's nothing going on there.  Yet.  But there was one shot when some mood lighting turned on and we had light blue streaks on the bed covers.  And I drifted off to being reminded of CSI when they use the ultraviolet lights to uncover biological leftovers in hotel room crime scenes.  Yikes!

And so that sales pitch that ABC tossed out about "what could happen with past Bachelor contestants in the audience" was such bulls*!  I'm becoming more disappointed in the handling of some marketing of TV shows these days.  It's not limited to ABC.  Other networks are using dirty word tricks to get folks to tune into things.  But that's just me.

Sean and Catherine are now married and join the alumni of a few married couples from 18 seasons from this reality TV series for desperate, ego driven single people!  But they are so fun to watch.  Aren't they?

Here's a few precious quotes from an Entertainment Weekly report from someone who was there:

It was so cold that eventually Lisa Vanderpump wrapped her little dog Giggy — yes, she brought Giggy — in a blanket.


as they arrived guests could hear the director barking orders and giving feedback to his team. “They came out really fast and they’re talking to each other!” he barked into his headset after the first couple proceeded down the aisle. Once the entire party was assembled, it was time for the big moment… a commercial break.

... guests were asked to keep their phones away during the ceremony


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