PIRANHA 3D on Syfy

Movie Review - PIRANHA 3D on Syfy

Piranha (sans the 3D)  aired on Syfy tonight, Saturday, 3-22-14, and if anything you have to remember that the creative forces behind the movie went with the accepted mode of tongue-in-cheek. If you keep that in mind, then you should be fine with the fun intent that Piranha was made with.

With that said, the cast includes Richard Dreyfus (don't worry, he shows up first and it's a quick cameo), Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, a quick Eli Roth appearance, Jerry O'Connell and Vampire Dairies' Steven R. McQueen.

The movie was written by Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg. Both who have helmed the Piranha franchise.


The movie opens with Richard Dreyfus out fishing, he drops his beer bottle, which, coincidentally, would seem to start a big underground earthquake, that releases a form of prehistoric Piranha.  And very hungry at that.

Don't worry, unlike Jaws, Richard Dreyfus dies fast.

But aside from that quick opening, we have all kinds of developments going on.

Elisabeth Shue is the Sheriff of Lake Victoria, where spring break has broken out there.  Hence, a serious amount of young sexy bodies pepper the screen in scanty bikinis and the like.

Steven R. McQueen plays the son of Shue's, who finds himself hired to guide a nefarious filmmaker around the region.

PIRANHA review on Syfy

That filmmaker is played by Jerry O'Connell, who's character is akin to a fanatical opportunist who tried to make movies like the Girls Gone Bad franchise. 

Ving Rhames plays the deputy and Christopher Lloyd is he scientist who knows all about these fish.

Eli Roth is a host to a wet t-shirt contest, and like Dreyfus, doesn't last long.


Even though the film airs on Syfy, it's not one of theirs or an Asylum production, thus, it cuts through the cheese and is produced and distributed by Dimension Films.  The story is cohesive and flows, so tonight's film feels like a masterpiece versus the usual, small budget quickie films that Syfy airs.

With that said, after the underground earthquake, the fish break out and start to attack here and there throughout the early part of the film as we meet and learn about the characters.  Shue has a town full of partying teens and starts to learn about the fish.  But she can't close the lake.

McQueen is tasked with babysitting his little brother and sister, but fails miserably as he bails on the kids after the temptation offer my the T and A movie maker, O'Donnell.

Shue tries to stop all the partying on the lake, but hormonal kids will be what they are, and ignore her.  Of course, not long after her attempted warning, the fish hit the party zone and it becomes total havoc.


This film is geared to be visually entertaining for anyone watching.  The story is absurdly silly, making it a borderline funny film and though I missed it in the theaters in the 3D version, but it being on TV, it was a worthy time killer.  It's the perfect Syfy Channel movie experience.

I'll give it that.  Over on IMDb, users gave the film a 5.6/10.  Seems about right.

Though Syfy did take advantage of airing a real B-movie, and surrounded it with some of their own, namely Mega Piranha (Starring Tiffany!) after, from The Asylum, and preceded by Piranhaconda, a Syfy distributed movie.

I stuck around for a few minutes of Mega Pirahna, and there's a reason this film has a IMDb user rating of 2.4/10.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Follow Cinema Static on: