THE MARINE A Warning, I Mean Quickie Review

The Marine with John Cena, A review

The film synopsis for the 2006 film, The Marine, goes like this:

"A group of diamond thieves on the run kidnap the wife of a recently discharged marine who goes on a chase through the South Carolinian wilderness to retrieve her."

And let me spell out how I came to write a movie review of The Marine...


I sometimes tend to go to sleep in front of the TV or leave my bedroom TV on and just pass out. As it is, DISH will reset my box every night and turn the damn thing off on me any way.

But later When I woke up to a bunch of action sequences on my TV, they were so bad that I thought this was one of those parody TV commercials that intentionally try to make things look bad. Or that I was so groggy waking up that I was not making sense of things.

But it kept on going and going and then I realized I had drifted off to sleep while I was watching Jon Snow (not?) get killed in the season finale of Game of Thrones.

So what the hell was this then?

As my attention and laser-like focus started honing in, I realized, OMG, I started recognizing the talent in the movie. There was John Cena, Terminator's Robert Patrick, Spartacus star Manu Bennett and Kelly Carlson. WTF? Did everyone here lose a bet or something?

I had tuned into what I presume to be the action packed third act. I watched Cena snag a police car (or some car) and it got shot up with more rounds than the bad guys had ammo for, but to its credit, it kept on going until Cena crashed it.

The action was extremely predictable. Unless you were just one huge fan of any of the aforementioned talent, you were either reaching for a beer, the remote or something to take your mind off this numbness.

The Marine was so bad that it met with a mediocre death at the theaters, having cost $20M to make and only taking in $19M domestically, that says something.  IMDb users chimed with with an average ratings of 4.7/10. Hmm, I was expecting a lower score than that.

Directed by John Bonito and written by actress/writer/director Michelle Gallagher and Writer/Director/Actor  Alan B. McElroy. 

Bonito's website calls The Marine an "over the top, action comedy became a financial success in theaters before becoming the number one most rented DVD in America in its first week of release."


This was effectively Bonito's first big screen effort, which then he followed up with the 2011 film, Carjacked. Everyone starts somewhere and they have to cut their teeth on something, right? Gallagher went on to acting in some movies since 2006.  The resume that had some clout, was McElroy's where you see that he has written stories or scripts for Halloween 4, Spawn, Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Tekken, Wrong Turn (1 through 5) and The Marine 4.

Holy crap, they made three more???


And that's that... this flick was somehow produced by 20th Century Fox and they let it ride. They didn't step in and force the film makers to change things up. What the heck? maybe the first half of the film wasn't bad, though my suspicions are of another mind!

You've been warned and check it out... this is the trailer for this fun...

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