'Black Forest' on Syfy; A Quick TV Review

This is one of those snarky TV reviews of the Syfy channel Saturday Night Original movies.  In this case, the movie is called Black Forest.  And it was part of a double-feature, with it being followed up by a second Original movie titled Gretl: Witch Hunter.  It's unprecedented to have two new movies on in one night.

According to the on-screen summary, the Syfy movie Black Forest is about tourists who become lost in a magical forest, where they encounter evil fairytale creatures who plot to steal one of their babies and kill the rest of them.

Black Forest was directed by Patrick Dinhut and produced by UFO International Productions, whose past credits include the "TV hits" such as Triassic Attack and Super Tanker.

They're now working on upcoming (TV) movies Deadly Descent and Vampyre Nation!  (You've been warned!  LOL)

The cast includes Oliver James, Tinsel Korey and others.

Black Forest starts out with an animated opening, seeing what looks like Red Riding Hood, a wolf, a witch and then the intro slides into a live-action scene with a couple running from some unseen horror.  The guy keeps telling his female companion to keep quiet or she knows what will happen.   They crawl into a car and it lands on the car.  Of course she says a word, changes into a monster and she kills the guy.


Scene change to two men in a bar, and the older one is inviting the younger one to some event.  The older man gives the younger man a feather and says that's his invitation card to get into the "party."

Later that night the young man has a horrible dream of sticking a needle in his wife's arm.  (His wife is deceased and I have no clue how that's related.)

Scene change...  it's morning and several folks are waiting for some shuttle to go to some creepy tourist trap.

We're only 10 minutes into the movie and it feels likeit's been 30 minutes.  We've had a ton of endless development and character introduction and nothing to fill in the blanks behind the characters.

We finally get something going on...  at the behest of the creepy old man/tour guide, they form a circle, start a chant, then a creepy looking thing pops up, clocks the mother who brought her baby to the seance, and takes her baby.  (Seriously.  A Cinema Static bit of advice:  Don't bring your infants to seances!)

Finally, something happened.  And now, the geeky guys are saying the stars are all wrong and they follow a magical path that appears before them.  (Did I just really say that?)

At this point in time, the energy level of the movie is akin to the mold growing in my bathroom, except that I know where the mold in my bathroom is going.  But I can't eradicate the movie, I can only tolerate it.

Black Forest is another Saturday night Syfy movie that's on par with the majority of their Saturday night, drinking-beer-with-buds time killers. It seemed like it was really going nowhere while trying to fill the time with deeds and actions.

If you missed this movie, don't fret.  I think I know why this movie was on as the first part of a "double-feature."


  1. Two hours of my life wasted on this terrible terrible movie.

  2. Anon 05:55: I cannot argue with your perspective... BUT if you used your time wisely, ie: hanging with friends, internet cruising, or indulging in certain beverages while watching, then maybe, it wasn't a total loss of time! On the bright side, there were TV commercials in there! (But yea... I hear ya.)


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